


i've been ghosting

by subject_topside



Series: Fallout Drabbles [1]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 19:08:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16143614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subject_topside/pseuds/subject_topside
Summary: i've been ghostingi've been ghosting aloneghost in the worldghost with no home





	i've been ghosting

_ “It’s weird being back,”  _ Topside had said when he and Nick ventured to Sanctuary after a few years living on the road. 

Now, the man was in his old home, moving about and fixing things, putting them back where they belonged or adding new things. He spent hours crafting up anything he needed, barely even paying any mind to anyone who tried to talk to him. He’d bother Carla for supplies before scooting off back to his home, carrying all kinds of items. He’d hop over to the house across the street to build some items, then he’d lug it all over to his house.

It was late in the day, Nick realized, looking up at the sky after watching the front door for the man, seeing stars dotting the darkening blue sky. The synth sighed heavily, air being pulled into his fake lungs, and exhaled sharply, rubbing his forehead and getting up out of his chair from the house across the way. He had noticed Topside hadn’t come out of his house for hours, the door was open and sometimes Cait would go in- Nick made sure to keep her in his sights, he wasn’t too sure why she was fond of going in and out of the man’s house, but all she did was sit at his island counter and drink. 

As Nick made his way to the door, he could hear music faintly playing. He rose a brow, glancing down at the doghouse beside the door and seeing Dogmeat sleeping peacefully. If the dog were awake, he’d have possibly been inside and snooping about and following Topside around, or he’d possibly looked up at the synth and the two could have shared comedic expressions. Nick couldn’t fight the little snort that came out of him as he thought about that, turning his attention to the orange door. It had been semi-closed from Cait’s last visit, who was now possibly either in the little makeshift shack beside the house Nick just came from, or even in said house.

The synth pushed the door open, half expecting Topside to be in the kitchen, half not. Well, to be fair he didn’t really know what to expect. The man was nowhere to be seen from the front door, and Nick just wondered if Topside went to bed, but with the huge gaping holes where the windows once where, Topside wasn’t seen going to bed. The synth let his hand slip off the door as he stepped into the living room, glancing about anxiously. The TV was on, but there was nothing playing, it was just the same “please stand by” that had been on since possibly ever.

He huffed out and shut the door fully, hearing it click behind him as he quietly traveled further into the house, hearing it creak and groan in the wind of the night. He adjusted his coat- it was a thing he always did, even as..as old Nick. He had memories, of the man huddling into his coat as the wind whipped at his body, trying to wipe him off the earth. He shook his head, he didn’t want to start thinking about himself again- Topside was more important now. He was starting to get more worried, looking into the closet, the bathroom, the laundry room. No sign of life, not even a radroach. Nick glanced into the man’s room, seeing nothing. The man’s Pip-Boy wasn’t on the table- he must still be wearing it. Then, behind him, he heard it.

It was a crackle, like feedback, before a woman’s voice started to chuckle.  _ “Oops! Ha ha ha. No, no, no. Little fingers away. There we go. Just say it. Right there. Right there. Go ahead,”  _ a baby giggled, a serene sound in the wasteland, _ “ha ha! Yay! Hi honey! Listen…” _

It was obvious then, Nick realized, it was Nora. Topside’s wife. He rubbed at his forehead as he turned around to see said man slouched beside a baby’s crib, his Pip-Boy was off his arm and to the side, said limbs wrapped over the top of his head as his forehead pressed against his knees. He was shaking.

_ “I don't think Shaun and I need to tell you how great of a father you are... but we're going to anyway. You are kind, and loving,”  _ again with the baby’s laughter- it only came to Nick’s mind then that it was Shaun, “ _... and funny! Ha ha. That's right. And patient. So patient. Patience of a saint, my mom used to say. _ ”

Nick slowly stepped into the baby’s, Shaun’s, room. Topside didn’t move an inch, his arms stayed where they were, legs in place, body quivering. The synth frowned and slowly got own to his knees, wincing a bit as his parts creaked, then he turned and sat beside the man. He stared off at the wall, feeling how bad the survivor was shaking, occasionally his body would lurch, and he’d inhale a really sharp and messy breath, then he’d go quiet. He was trying hard not to cry, and that’s what really had Nick’s chest twisting.

The synth scooted a bit closer, watching Topside’s body closely, as if afraid that if he moved too close, the man would swoop up his Pip-Boy and run off into the wasteland and never be seen again for another few months. Said man slowly raised his head, his blue eyes catching on Nick’s worried expression. A forced laugh left the trembling man, moving his head to face away from the synth, a hand moving from his neck to wipe his face.

“I-I’m fine,” Topside said, reaching for his Pip-Boy to turn off the holotape. Nick didn’t stop him.

“No, you’re not,” the synth sighed out as he leaned forward a bit, watching as the man’s trembling hands struggled to shut the tape off, finally just deciding to uproot the tape. “You’re still shaking,” Nick commented.

“No shit, Sherlock,” Topside growled, pushing the tape into a pocket in his coat and clipping his Pip-Boy to his arm, “I don’t have nerves of steel like you do.” He swiped a clothed hand over his face, ridding any more evidence of his little breakdown he head.

“I’m just making comments,” the synth sighed, rubbing his hands together, before he wrapped an arm around Topside’s shoulders and pulled the man into him. 

For a moment, the man froze, as if he was going to move away, but he stopped and stayed in place, eventually relaxing. He put his head against Nick’s shoulder and heaved a massive, shaky sigh. Nick watched the room, as if the shadows would turn to a deathclaw and eat them alive, or if one of Shaun’s old toys would turn into Radroaches and Bloatflies and infect the man with radiation. The synth shook his head to rid of the thoughts- he’s seen the man at his side take down ten ghouls at once, along with several raiders and radroaches and bloatflies, he knew the man could take care of himself...sometimes.

“I...I miss them,” Topside said quietly, his hands were playing with each other, rotating his wedding ring, “I- I mean, I’ve got you, I know. I just...miss having a family. I miss the old days.” He looked up at Nick, apology and fear written all over his face, as if he said the wrong thing.

“I understand, don’t worry,” Nick offered a smile, but it wasn’t anything warm, “I miss my wife too, but...I’ve got better, now. I have you and Dogmeat, and that’s just about as much as I could ask for.” His hand, the synthetic flesh covered one, carefully rubbed the man’s shoulder.

Topside nodded and shrugged, putting his head on the detective’s shoulder as he stared off at whatever was in front of him, which was a dresser. Whether he was looking at it, at the drawers, or under it, Nick did not know, he couldn’t see his eyes- hell, he could even be looking at his hands. The synth looked out the window, the sky had definitely gotten darker, it was almost black. The trees loomed close to the window, like spiney fingers that reached for whomever was beside them- the detective wondered if that tree scared Shaun, or if it had grown after the bombs fell. 

“It’s getting late,” Nick mused, looking back to the man, “you should rest. Let’s go,” he moved his arm back and stood, offering a hand to Topside for him to take.

The man shooed his hand aside and stood up on his own, flattening the wrinkles of his clothes and heading into his room across the hall. Nick watched with a quiet sigh before he shut the door to Shaun’s room and headed into the man’s. Topside was taking his coat off when the synth stepped in, folding it nicely and putting it on his drawer, along with his scarf. He kicked off his boots and plopped onto the squeaky mattress, staring up at the ceiling. Nick did the same, taking off his coat and tie and his shoes, though he slid into the bed rather than dropping onto it.

Almost immediately, Topside turned around and buried his face into Nick’s chest while the synth wrapped his arms around the man. He gently kissed the top of his head as he listened to the man’s breath pick up. Eventually, after a few moments of just silence, Nick started to hum. It was very calming despite his rough voice, his metal hand gently working patterns into the man’s back, calming him. The synth leaned back a bit to glance down to the human, seeing that he had fallen asleep successfully.

_ “I know the night just got darker, but it won’t last forever.” _


End file.
